I don't have any real child-endangerment stories (yet). I haven't ever wished my child gone (yet). I haven't ever had the desire to kill her (yet). She cries sometimes and I muddle through and it's okay (so far).
But I have nursed my daughter to get a break from entertaining her (a few times). And I nurse in front of the computer (a lot). I have counted the minutes till nap time (often) or bed time (almost all the time). I have spent many moments imagining the post-weaning vacation I'm going to take with my husband (while I leave her with our parents).
I don't have extreme stories (that's kind of the story of my life: moderation), but I have a fair number of just-being-there-physically-without-really-being-there-mentally stories. Not all the time, but so much more often than I care to admit to myself or anyone else. And that made me cry. For an hour. It's a movie worth renting.
2 comments:
I LOVE THIS cartoon! I had OFTEN looked out the window, searching for my husband towards evening time, counting the minutes until he would come save me from our baby. We even had a song on the lines of "Daddy, where are you?" I would throw the baby at him and disappear, even if that meant go cook dinner or some other work around the house, anything to get away from our little "monster". And there were certainly points were I simply cried along with Nathan after having no better idea of what I could do to make him stop crying.
It's amazing how soon you start to forget how BAD it can be.
But....
I remember going to the dentist one evening. Owen was probably 2 months old. He cried a LOT and we never figured out why. (I guess he just eventually stopped crying so much, because he's fine now at 7 months and I always know why he's crying.)
I remember coming back from the appointment and sitting outside in the car for over an hour. I called Megan on the ride home just to find some support to go inside. And I did eventually. But I remember very clearly, not wanting to go in that house and face that crying, screaming monster. It's a good thing we love them so much somewhere deep inside. Because, when you have a bad day, it's really BAD.
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