A Cautionary Tale

Books with flaps or tabs can be a choking hazard.

Owen was cruising along the edge of the sofa...I was typing an email right next to him.

He kept making noises like he was chewing the "o's" from his tray.
Then he made a gagging sound (he didn't choke..thank goodness) and I looked over and saw something red in his mouth.

While I wasn't looking, he managed to chew or tear off the tab to a little red book. He had the whole tab in his mouth and he was chewing it (and walking around) like he was intending to EAT it. Or at least SWALLOW it.

I should have read my own post about "babyproofing everything."

They hide the velcro too well....

This is SUCH a minor thing...but Owen begs to differ.

It is generally not a good idea to wipe your child's face with the hook side/rough side of a velcro bib. He kept crying when I wiped his face off after eating oatmeal. This isn't unusual, so I kept going.

I didn't realize it until I looked down at what part of the bib I was using on his face. ACK.
Sorry Owen.

Suffer Now AND Suffer Later??

So E.J. was up again every two hours last night...this time punctuated by screaming fits again about 10 minutes after each time we put him down...and can I ever relate to that desire to just throw him out the window. Thank goodness in the morning I can look at him, love him, and talk to him again but around 4:30 in the morning...it's a whole other story. Every night before I go to bed I ask to be a patient, loving mom no matter how he acts, but at some point I seem to end up in tears.

This would be so much more tolerable if I just knew HOW LONG this is going to last. Is this going to be for one week and then improve? Or is the fact that I'm nursing him back to sleep whenever he gets up dooming me to spoil him and then wake up even more, like every hour during the night? Do I listen to the side of me that says he's waking up for a reason so I need to be there for him? Or to the other side that says I am only teaching him bad habits through what I am doing?

Baby-proof Everything!

From my neighbor, Nicole:

"Don't forget to baby-proof the bathroom.
I had forgotten to do the cabinet with the trash and walked in one day to find my daughter holding one of my discarded razors!"

A List: Things I Should Think Twice About

1. ...that sometimes I will give Owen formula instead of breastfeeding at times purely because it's easier and not because there isn't enough milk, but because I don't want someone sucking on me.
   
2. ...that a peanut butter-filled rawhide bone might not be the best dog toy choice with a crawling, teething baby in the house (YUCK!)
   
3. ...predicting that the baby is going to fall while pulling up on something, and watching it happen
4. ...leaving a baby alone with a potted plant nearby (dirt apparently looks tasty)
5. ...that each of Owen's diapers will take 500 years to decompose...and I could choose something else...but I'm cheap and lazy
6. When reading picture books: Do a sheep and a goat make the same noise? Baaaa?
   

A Mother Duck kind of day

MOMMA DUCK WINS A NOMINATION FOR THE (ANTI) MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD

It was a busy two-lane road in a high-traffic shopping area. My sister-in-law spotted a Momma Duck and her 6 or 7 little ducklings trying to cross this heavily traveled road. Jenn turned her minivan into the parking lot as we tried to figure out what to do about the ducks. They were sure to be duck pancakes. They didn't have a chance against that traffic.
I jumped out and tried to get the momma duck to back up and turn around the other way.

It worked..kind of. She was NOT happy with me...she looked mad, actually. But, she turned in the other direction. For a minute. She was really taking a detour around me back towards the road. She was rather insistent about waddling towards the rushing cars.

We thought about putting her in a box and taking her to the pond outside my mother-in-law's condo. How do you get a mad, momma duck in a box WITH the ducklings? We had to do something...so I walked into a bar right there and asked for a box.

(This is starting to sound like multiple bad jokes: Why did the momma duck cross the road?...This crazy woman walked into a bar....)

The bartender came out, a customer had a box in their trunk, and we debated about the success of this mission. The Momma duck, meanwhile, continued trying to turn back to cross the road, which, by the way, had nothing on the other side except a mall, massive parking lots, and a gas station. No woods, ponds, or anything remotely like a duck habitat anywhere in sight.

While debating, the Momma duck moved her ducklings into a ditch and we lost sight of them.
I don't know what happened to them...but they were still headed toward the road when we gave up and drove home.

My point of sharing this story is that if a Momma duck can attempt to cross Mentor Avenue with her baby ducklings...oh and I forgot to mention that she STEPPED ON ONE OF HER DUCKLINGS...
If Momma duck can have this kind of day, then perhaps we shouldn't feel so badly about our own mistakes. It might just be natural to make mistakes. Maybe we could just take the pressure off of ourselves and count it as "a Mother Duck kind of day."

Are We All Going to Forget How Hard it Was Raising Babies 20 Years From Now?

We were having a family reunion - my cousins, aunts and uncles at my grandparents' house. (I am the oldest of many cousins, the only one that's married and the only one with kids.) Nathan was using me as a jungle gym (something we call "climbing mount mommy"). He wasn't particularly misbehaving; he was just being his mischievous normal 2 1/2 year old with alot of energy. One of my male cousins (with two male siblings) asked his mom if this is how they behaved. Her response - "No, you kids were perfect!" The response made me laugh. I know that neither Nathan or I are perfect. I quickly responded loudly to the audience of my cousins: "Don't kid yourselves. This is exactly what we were like when we were young. We also abused our parents. This should give you plenty of reason to appreciate our parents for all the crap they put up with all these years!" My mother was sitting right next to me and I hope that realizes that I appreciate her much more now that I have a child of my own.

I hope to have a similar moment in my future - one in which Nathan appreciates all the shit I put up with in order for me to do what I believe is best for him.

My Mother of the Year Award Entry

My son is almost 3 now, but our first 1 1/2 of his life were tough! What is my definition of tough? I think I had the thought "I could just kill you" at least once a night EVERY night during that time while he was crying yet another time. (How could this not win the award.) This while all my friends had babies that went to sleep by themselves and slept the whole night since they were 3 months old. What was I doing wrong? What was wrong with my child? I felt alot of guilt, I blamed myself alot.

Somehow time passed. Nathan is still what I woud consider a poor sleeper. Unless reminded that he will only get a sticker in the morning if he does not wake up mommy in the middle of the night, he'll wake me up at some point - to ask me where Nemo is or where his water bottle is. He'll attempt to go back to sleep, and as I finally doze off 20 minutes later, he'll call me again. This time I sternly tell him he may not call me again until "the sun wakes up", or else.... (Nemo comes to sleep with me). I remind myself that tomorrow before he goes to sleep I MUST remember to promise him a sticker if he doesn't call me until the sun wakes up. On a good night, he does not call me, but sleeps generally at MOST 10 hours. So what's my point? I finally stopped blaming myself. I *try* (but certainly don't succeed as much as I'd like) to detach myself from how well or poorly he slept, in order not to get upset often.

Kids can't be perfect. They all have imprefections. My son's strong imperfection is his sleep. Sucks for us. But that's life, right?

All kidding aside, I share my "I could just kill you" story because I believe more of you have had that thought at some point than would like to admit. I just want you to know that you are not alone. I think alot of times just knowing that you are not alone, particularly in hardship, can be a big help. May you never get to this point. But if you do, know that we at the "Mother of the Year Award" understand and want to help!

On the Offense

I didn't even notice Owen's attack. It wasn't until Carly shrieked, "Oh No!" that I looked down...
Owen managed to knock over his friend Oren, and then practice his squeezing pincer grasp on Oren's eyeball.

Owen had practically climbed on TOP of Mt. Oren so as to better reach the eyeball.

Poor Oren looked and sounded as though he had been attacked by an offensive lineman.

Carly and Oren had to leave Borders and go home.

This all happened while standing in the book section promoting calmness, zen awareness, peaceful mindsets and happiness.

Owen was very aware. At least he was. :)

Suffer Now or Suffer Later

I am adding a new slogan to my arsenal, where the first two were:
1. "I'm not there yet," and
2. "By [almost] any means necessary."

Slogan Three is, drumroll please... "Suffer Now or Suffer Later [or both]!"

One thing I've learned from parenting my two dogs is that you can discipline them fervently when they are young or for the rest of their lives. My neighbor has a golden retriever so good that you'd think he drugs it. The dog can be staring down a beef-coated squirrel in a tree; if the owner whistles, the dog comes trotting home immediately. But, no drugs, he was just very firm with it as a puppy and now it knows better than to cross him. My husband and I, schmucks that we are, tried our best to discipline our dogs when they were young but weren't consistent or firm enough. Now you need a squirt gun to walk into our house without getting dog-attacked. We weren't willing to suffer then by disciplining them, so everyone suffers now!

There are so many examples of this in parenting. I need to stick to my guns more than I do - with the dogs, with my child[ren], with everything. Because one day the kids will be bigger than you are, and they'd better have learned to trot home when you whistle by then. :)

I Tagged You!

Hi Amy T.,

I tagged you for a "meme." Check out my blog (tulipandturnip.blogspot.com) to see what you need to do!
:) Amy

By Any Means Necessary

What I have noticed lately, is that I REALLY appreciate the flexible thinker. This becomes especially true with anything related to motherhood.
The phrase "school of thought" is particularly irking me today. I was "categorized" recently as belonging to one particular "school of thought" with regards to sleeping and getting kids to nap.

ANYONE who has talked with me over the last few months knows the trouble that I have had getting Owen to sleep. I've tried everything. I've even done the things I don't like doing. Just IN CASE it works for him.

So, when a person, who knows nothing of this struggle, categorized me and announced that I belong to a particular philosophy, and that she belongs to another, I was completely overwhelmed.

I was struck down with amazing emotions:
1)fear..that I was doing it wrong;
2)guilt...that I was still doing it;
3)confusion...over what might be "better;"
4)incompetence... feeling as though I'm not a good mother;
and then...as I began to think about it further:
5)anger...that I was judged and typecast by another mother.

I think the phrase "school of thought" implies that one is close-minded. In this case, I have explored options in all "schools." Just because I settled on one method does not mean that it will work with the next kid, nor do I cast aside other methods.
Perhaps the worst thing we can do to another mother is imply that there are sides to line up on, with apposing schools, as if this amazing art of motherhood was a battle to be won.

There is such a thing as moderation. Just as there is also a middle ground.
And what I would like to have said, in retrospect, is that "I've tried a lot of things, and I'm doing what has worked for him." It's a little bit of this...and a lot of that. Like any good chef knows, there is no exact recipe, and many times it needs to be tweaked a little.

It's amazing how a one-second-comment can throw your brain into a tailspin, isn't it?
I am comforted by Lydia's thought: "...by any means necessary." This might just be the way to survive being a mom.