Have you reached this stage?
To truly understand the "Ally McBeal" Stage of motherhood desperation, you must have first seen the TV show from the '90s where she imagined all kinds of things that she would do, or say...but doesn't. Even if you never saw it, you might have experienced the "Ally McBeal" stage anyway.
This "Ally McBeal" stage might be described as a moment of imagination. This imagined scene is what you WOULD do if Jiminy Fucking Cricket wasn't sitting on your shoulder telling you what a "good" mother would do in any given situation.
I think Amy C. reached this stage in her posting " Say What?" :)
I reached it today when, while driving, I imagined myself careening off the nearest cliff with the screaming infant in the car...and then flashed immediately back to driving along boring Route 1 behind the smelly, fuming, dilapidated brown Volvo. This cliff-diving, of course, would never happen...but there are certain pitch levels of a baby's scream that make you contemplate strange things.
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Ah, yes, A baby's cry can certainly mess with any sanity you have left. I can't believe I'm going to admit this, but when I first brought the twins home from the NICU, I was so overwhelmed with caring for those teeny tiny infants that I imagined ways to get someone else to care for them. I swear, it crossed my mind that if I JUST STOPPED EATING AND DRINKING, then my family would know that I couldn't handle it, and would take the babies. I was ready to starve myself, for Christ's sake! Thank God the thought was fleeting, but yikes! Those hormones do crazy things! See, Amy? I DO rival you for the AMOTY award!
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