Amy, this might give you some competition for the award

This dates back a few weeks. Claire and I were at Home Depot on one of our typical Saturdays when we were trying to do a ton of stuff around the house. It was well past lunch time and I hadn't eaten anything since early that morning. As luck would have it our friendly neighborhood Home Depot was celebrating spring by having a little cookout. When I saw those flat, gray, low-quality beef hamburger patties on that grill I just had to get myself one. And fast! So, with Claire in the cart I did a quick calculation of the grade of the hill we were standing on and the distance to the aluminum pan of already-cooked burgers, waiting to be snatched up by vultures like me, and determined that I could make a dive for one and Claire and our cart would stay put (or, maybe, at worst move only slightly - yes, I made an allowance for that eventuality). Well, I can confirm that the grade I earned in physics was well earned and still accurately represents my knowledge level in that material: my child went careening off the sidewalk into the parking lot but was, thankfully, stopped by a Home Depot employee who I guess was on crowd control/baby saving duty.

So I was willing to sacrifice my child for a piece of hamburger meat. Pretty sad (and really embarrassing, too)!